15 July 2023

Committees and Comformity

 So I went to the AGM of our allotment association for the first time in the four years we've had allotments there.

To be fair there has been two years where lockdown prevented this particular flavour of democracy from meeting in great numbers, and I have been burned by my previous experience with the neurotypical way of running democracy.

The meeting met quorum (the number of people needed to make it a legit and legally binding) at ~30 people out of ~100.


Several things struck me straight away (apart from individuals whom I liked being present).

One was that women were severely under-represented.
There were roughly 3 men for every woman.

The second thing I noticed was that only one of the
people of ethnic minorities
(for Lancashire, UK) made it to the meeting (even though I know there are at least 7 more)

The third thing I noticed was that, with the exception of me and two other people, everyone was over 60 years of age.

The fourth thing I only realised after being home discussing it with my husbear,
(who was working and couldn't make it)
Was that, of the roughly 9 neurodivergent people on site (that I'm aware of) only I made it.


Now onto the actual events.

The treasurer, chair and secretarial reports were given.
The secretary will not enter the site, so his speech was delivered by the chair.

Two of the previous committee stepped down, and a third was going to train up a replacement.
(that's two fewer women and one less neurodivergent person on the council)

There was a ratification (democratically legalising with a vote) of the seven current council members who had been coopted at an EGM. (five white men, mostly 50 and older, two white ladies).


There was pressure/encouragement for me to put my own name forward
(me being the youngest in the room).

I responded by asking if the current chair would put her own name forward, knowing that she did a wonderful job, and was harassed and talked over by the other councilmen (and I do mean men).

She declined, so I asked what the role entailed, and I was treated to some more jargon (apparently "the chair chairs")
She explained that "there was not much paperwork only..." then she proceeded to describe the vast amounts of admin, far beyond my capability (I'm a slow reader)

I responded with a firm "I'm a people person, not a paperwork person"


Several other subjects were brought up, discussed and voted on.
Each one more detailed and jargon-filled than the last
(me, remembering my previous experience of democracy kept my questions brief)

When the subject of the website/social media/email was brought up, the fact that the previous Secretary was harassed out of his job put me off the idea (he not only stepped down, but refuses to even enter the allotment)

After I laughed aloud at their suggestion that this would be difficult, it was suggested by a council member that they needed a Communications Officer and he pointed at me when I asked him "who would do that?"

I responded to his suggestion by saying that I would be Communications Officer if none of the messages were longer than 20 words.

Many laughed at this (I think they thought I was joking) but I am a slow reader, and a much quicker typer and speaker, so people do not realise how long it takes for me to do admin.

Even though I was strongly encouraged to join the committee, I said that I would talk to the prev. secretary/webmaster (
poor man) and help transfer the website to council control, so he can let go and heal.


TBH I do not want to be driven out of the allotment due to my neuroqueer status, I am a  fourfold minority even though I can pass as a white man by using the unhealthy skill of masking.

It was clear that my impatient questions and severe confusion at a lot of the jargon and wording were not very welcome, though I assume many put it down to my age and not my neuroqueerness.

I made a point of making sure that the quieter points made by the womenfolk were not drowned out by scoffing interruptions of some of the older men.


I have mentioned race, gender, age and neuroqueerness lacking variety.

There was also a lack of parents and workers (they were probably home with their kids!)

There was a lack of non-white and foreign nationals too (two Turkish men left the site recently, two other afro-caribbean men did not attend, and at least three of our five eastern/oriental people walked past the meeting but did not join it)

I'm beginning to see why british politics is dominated by tory thinking, as most people who turn up to such things seem to be anglo-saxon cis NT straight middle class men over 60, or people masking as such.

Another revelation was why: two or three men's voices kept drowning out and overriding the scant few women's voices. I made a point on at least six occasions to interrupt that man and bring the discussion back to the woman who originally spoke.

Being someone who was raised by three women (mother and two sisters, dad worked long hours) I was seething at this behaviour by men who should know better.


Let's be honest here, let's not demonise these guys, when me and/or my husband talk to them away from meetings they are funny, intelligent and helpful.

However they see me as a man (I have a beard and tattoos) and my husbear is relatively masculine too and "passes for straight" (he often jokes that he's a straight man with a gay dick).

So these are not ignorant mansplainers, but they have been raised to think that their behaviours are to be expected of them. Society is to blame? We still need to run meetings where men have the majority of the membership and women and queers and BAME people need to be made to feel welcome. (Black and ethnic minority)


One thing that was pointedly NOT discussed was the fact that one set of plotholders
(a father and son team who keep hundreds of birds in cruel inhumane conditions that somehow passed RSPCA, DEFRA and LCC inspection)

What *was* mentioned was that the entire site could not get liability insurance if the numbers of poultry was over 49 (50 being considered a shorthold farm)

It was wondered aloud if separate extra insurance just for the poultry keepers could be acquired and those that wish to keep birds could just pay more for the privilege.

It was interesting that one man referred to the yearly epidemic as "chicken flu" I asked him if he meant "bird flu" and should we not count all the pigeons on site too?
I asked if the virus knew how to discriminate.

This was put aside for now as the subject was mostly insurance.

[[[ side note: the family in question were the primary men behind the harassment of the previous exec who are stepping down, and also drove off many plotholders, especially women, queers and ethnic minorities.

There has already been a court order, and they have no legal right to be on the allotment and are basically squatters.

(I'm not judging squatters, but they treat their birds like art exhibits and not as poultry)



Democracy (or what passes for it in Britain) is structurally biased towards men, anglo-saxons, the middle class, cishet, NT and able bodied/minded people.

This is why queers, BAME, women, the poor, ND and disabled are largely under-represented.

My own experience reminded me why I struggle with such scenarios, I barely understand what is going on and I lack cognitive empathy for the NT mindset, and they lack empathy for mine.

Anyway I'm exhausted by my second retelling, the first was a report to my husband, so i'm signing off.

15 May 2023


 I was recently reading more about the concept of Neurodiversity and Queer Theory, and where they intersect as Neuroqueer.

It's a fascinating concept that being non-cis and/or non-straight must necessarily affect one's neurology as your experience is different.

Similarly those who are Neurodivergent in one way or more ways from the (possibly theoretical) Neurotypical, seem to have divergent understanding of their own sex, gender and/or sexuality.

Thus is born Neuroqueer, a multidimensional space of different ways to diverge fron the average.

A further thought occurs: is the Neurotypical/Heteronormal a specifically identifiable locus? or is it simply a theoretical floating-point origin that we might measure ourselves to?

Or is this backwards? Perhaps the furthest frontiers of diversity are the 'normal' that no-one actually self-identifies with, and everyone has already sublimated.

Anyhow. Enough naval-gazing!

Next to the allotment with my husbear! The sun is abroad and my allitlement needs attention, as do those tame dinosaurs we call 'chickens'.

28 September 2022


 Yup, the rumours are true, I'm still alive, and now I'm married!

Without boring you with too many details... we wore kilts as I'm enby and we have celtic heritage.

We walked down the aisle to Jurassic Park and walked out as husband and spouse to Star Trek.

Then we had a ceilidh knees up in a local community centre, had a night at a local french restaurant/hotel. 

Then went to southern France to bake in the sun and eat wonderful foodstuffs. We even popped over the border to Spain for a few days.


One thing that I'd really recommend is a plan for things to do after your wedding/honeymoon. As I (like many folk) had a mental health stumble, without the future wedding to plan for.

Organise for the next few weeks of things to do, both connected and separate from the wedding.


In terms of gaming, I've been mostly making a cavern garden in Minceraft. The new boss is a bit crazy hard, so I'm working up to it. 

I've hardly played Creatures at all, but I have made some vague plans and I've been catching up on websites/Discord. 

07 April 2022

New Room

 My current Creatures projects is revisiting one I dropped a while ago: Pacifica.

Basically it is a compliment/inspiration of Ali's Atlantis room, being bigger and above water, self contained, technological and connected to the land in contrast to Atlantis.

The graphics are adapted from a little used area in C2, with a similar switchable barrier to the right there.

It also has a teaching agent on the right-hand screen.

The left hand device I've not decided what it will do, if anything,. maybe it will just be a built in toy.

The second device is a foiod replicator which can be switched to being automatic.

there will be a lift or mover in the centre giving access to goldfish swimming in the ocean.

Perhaps too ambitious in some ways, i'll probably release it as a beta and add some more stuff later.

Feel free to send me ideas with regards to it.

Meanwhile I've been enjoying being on Discord and sharing ideas and befriending some of the CC.

11 March 2022

Discordian Age

So I got a little tired of how slow Creatures Caves has gotten to load.
I found out that it was due to a change someone had made who was too busy to update it.

Fair enough, it's a free community site, I'm frustrated, but I understand.

Here's the good part: because I wanted more interaction generally with the Creatures Community, I finally got to grips with the fabled Discord!

I was already a member of two servers for other games, and I was recently reminded of it's existence by a friend who added me to their Autism one, so it made sense, I mean it's been going for 7 years, that's a long time in tech terms!

Long story short, I've added a bunch of creatures Discord servers to go along with the CCSF one I was already a member of, and I've been enjoying interacting with the other players/developers for the game.

Blogger was intended to my way of getting in touch with the CC, but Discord seems to be where everyone has been lurking :)

I'm happy to get to know people better, since the 25th anniversary of the original game, I've sworn to myself to get more involved socially, rather than await emails or CCaves messages :)

12 January 2022

Big Plans

 Wedding plans ahoy, six months to go, and we're full steam ahead.

I've also picked up some work with a friend doing gardening and decorating, in return for allotment stuff.

Meanwhile I've been working on my Rainbow Fey Geats, and I've released the first version. In version 2 I'm going to have gender swaps and a few other things. I may add Ghoslty norn sprites and edit the Bain Sidhe too.

I have also started work on The Heavens, though it's a bigger project than I first thought, it seems that adding dbgm lines might add a whole lot to the size of the file.

I've been making a concerted effort to get myself out into the world more this year, with socialising and job application. :-)

16 December 2021

Winter Reflections

 I've been thinking a lot about my life, Creatures and everything.

No the answer isn't 42, fish or anything obvious.

My life really came to a head when I knackered my ankle again. It forced me to take time off work. This freed up time to deal with the bird flu season, which again wasn't resting it.

Being forced to be at home drove me a cabin sick, butting heads against my fiance. Realising that the man who is (and has been) doing so much for me wasn't the problem. I realised I was still grieving for my cat, my animal brother, who died so recently. I let myself cry for the first time in too long, pulling out the cork from this rancid bottle of emotions.

After that I delved deeper, and saw other emotional scars that had not healed properly, some for decades.

So I kept swimming, throwing myself back into work, but more carefully. Opening up to friends and family. Sometimes oversharing, sometimes being prickly and stubborn...but learning.

Seeking the balance again.

I'm being more careful, sharing where I can, revealing what I thought was inner ugliness, but being shocked by acceptance and love.

This growth has been painful, tearful, but fruitful. It is reflected in my approach to many things.

Creatures has often been a refuge to me, a microcosm of life, humanity and everything, a fruitless attempt to control. I believe what brings me back is that one *cannot* control.

One can only experience, learn and move on.

Sometimes the best apology is becoming a better person.

Sometimes one must weep before you can smile again.

The past is but a memory, the future is merely hope, it is only in the now that we truly live. 

Committees and Comformity

 So I went to the AGM of our allotment association for the first time in the four years we've had allotments there. To be fair there has...