Queering

 I was recently reading more about the concept of Neurodiversity and Queer Theory, and where they intersect as Neuroqueer.

It's a fascinating concept that being non-cis and/or non-straight must necessarily affect one's neurology as your experience is different.

Similarly those who are Neurodivergent in one way or more ways from the (possibly theoretical) Neurotypical, seem to have divergent understanding of their own sex, gender and/or sexuality.

Thus is born Neuroqueer, a multidimensional space of different ways to diverge fron the average.

A further thought occurs: is the Neurotypical/Heteronormal a specifically identifiable locus? or is it simply a theoretical floating-point origin that we might measure ourselves to?

Or is this backwards? Perhaps the furthest frontiers of diversity are the 'normal' that no-one actually self-identifies with, and everyone has already sublimated.

Anyhow. Enough naval-gazing!

Next to the allotment with my husbear! The sun is abroad and my allitlement needs attention, as do those tame dinosaurs we call 'chickens'.

Alive!

 Yup, the rumours are true, I'm still alive, and now I'm married!

Without boring you with too many details... we wore kilts as I'm enby and we have celtic heritage.

We walked down the aisle to Jurassic Park and walked out as husband and spouse to Star Trek.

Then we had a ceilidh knees up in a local community centre, had a night at a local french restaurant/hotel. 

Then went to southern France to bake in the sun and eat wonderful foodstuffs. We even popped over the border to Spain for a few days.

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One thing that I'd really recommend is a plan for things to do after your wedding/honeymoon. As I (like many folk) had a mental health stumble, without the future wedding to plan for.

Organise for the next few weeks of things to do, both connected and separate from the wedding.

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In terms of gaming, I've been mostly making a cavern garden in Minceraft. The new boss is a bit crazy hard, so I'm working up to it. 

I've hardly played Creatures at all, but I have made some vague plans and I've been catching up on websites/Discord. 

New Room

 My current Creatures projects is revisiting one I dropped a while ago: Pacifica.

Basically it is a compliment/inspiration of Ali's Atlantis room, being bigger and above water, self contained, technological and connected to the land in contrast to Atlantis.

The graphics are adapted from a little used area in C2, with a similar switchable barrier to the right there.

It also has a teaching agent on the right-hand screen.

The left hand device I've not decided what it will do, if anything,. maybe it will just be a built in toy.

The second device is a foiod replicator which can be switched to being automatic.

there will be a lift or mover in the centre giving access to goldfish swimming in the ocean.

Perhaps too ambitious in some ways, i'll probably release it as a beta and add some more stuff later.

Feel free to send me ideas with regards to it.

Meanwhile I've been enjoying being on Discord and sharing ideas and befriending some of the CC.

Discordian Age

So I got a little tired of how slow Creatures Caves has gotten to load.
I found out that it was due to a change someone had made who was too busy to update it.

Fair enough, it's a free community site, I'm frustrated, but I understand.

Here's the good part: because I wanted more interaction generally with the Creatures Community, I finally got to grips with the fabled Discord!

I was already a member of two servers for other games, and I was recently reminded of it's existence by a friend who added me to their Autism one, so it made sense, I mean it's been going for 7 years, that's a long time in tech terms!

Long story short, I've added a bunch of creatures Discord servers to go along with the CCSF one I was already a member of, and I've been enjoying interacting with the other players/developers for the game.

Blogger was intended to my way of getting in touch with the CC, but Discord seems to be where everyone has been lurking :)

I'm happy to get to know people better, since the 25th anniversary of the original game, I've sworn to myself to get more involved socially, rather than await emails or CCaves messages :)

Big Plans

 Wedding plans ahoy, six months to go, and we're full steam ahead.

I've also picked up some work with a friend doing gardening and decorating, in return for allotment stuff.

Meanwhile I've been working on my Rainbow Fey Geats, and I've released the first version. In version 2 I'm going to have gender swaps and a few other things. I may add Ghoslty norn sprites and edit the Bain Sidhe too.

I have also started work on The Heavens, though it's a bigger project than I first thought, it seems that adding dbgm lines might add a whole lot to the size of the file.

I've been making a concerted effort to get myself out into the world more this year, with socialising and job application. :-)

Winter Reflections

 I've been thinking a lot about my life, Creatures and everything.

No the answer isn't 42, fish or anything obvious.

My life really came to a head when I knackered my ankle again. It forced me to take time off work. This freed up time to deal with the bird flu season, which again wasn't resting it.

Being forced to be at home drove me a cabin sick, butting heads against my fiance. Realising that the man who is (and has been) doing so much for me wasn't the problem. I realised I was still grieving for my cat, my animal brother, who died so recently. I let myself cry for the first time in too long, pulling out the cork from this rancid bottle of emotions.

After that I delved deeper, and saw other emotional scars that had not healed properly, some for decades.

So I kept swimming, throwing myself back into work, but more carefully. Opening up to friends and family. Sometimes oversharing, sometimes being prickly and stubborn...but learning.

Seeking the balance again.

I'm being more careful, sharing where I can, revealing what I thought was inner ugliness, but being shocked by acceptance and love.

This growth has been painful, tearful, but fruitful. It is reflected in my approach to many things.

Creatures has often been a refuge to me, a microcosm of life, humanity and everything, a fruitless attempt to control. I believe what brings me back is that one *cannot* control.

One can only experience, learn and move on.

Sometimes the best apology is becoming a better person.

Sometimes one must weep before you can smile again.

The past is but a memory, the future is merely hope, it is only in the now that we truly live. 

Pains and trials

 I had an amazing visit by an old friend Gnomey, what with lockdown, health and both of our schedules, it's the first time in over 6 years she had been to my house. It was also the first time she met my fiance!

Personal stuff aside it has been great to *have* to put my foot up so I managed to catch up with my website and throw together some stuff for the CCSF.

For those interested, I'm currently downloading and racing to learn screen capture software so that I can put up my first video wolfling/feral run!

No promises as to the schedule, but I will release a video as soon as a can.